This Is Why I’m Doing Paleo


I used to have a really gargantuan disgusting beer gut. I like beer, and I like eating. However, there were times when I doubted why I didn’t feel like I was really getting the ultimate satisfaction from the things I ate. I was “skinny fat,” and I didn’t know why that was since I didn’t eat much in my own standards, and I walk 2 hours a day going back and forth two cities from work. Why was I cursed with this predicament?

I started cutting off my daily intake and having half portions of everything. However, in the spirit of camaraderie, I did eat the savory noodles, spaghetti, cake, Krispy Kreme, and pizza whenever there was something going on in the office. Strangely, for some reason, there seemed to be something to celebrate in the office almost in a daily basis. We would have sweetened doughnuts, large vats of coke (soda), savory noodles, and pizza in rotation during the week. We would indulge in large quantities of comfort foods that made us feel good. I told myself, “Nah, it’s probably okay. It’s just for today, and it’s Jenny’s birthday. I don’t want to seem rude, refusing free food – it’s grace from God, blah blah blah” You get the idea.

Office Food

The penultimate office I had had a ping pong table. I would get 15 minutes or so of ping pong time before retreating back to my desk.

Ping Pong Table

In my most recent office, I was devoid of this playtime as there were no ping pong tables to ping and pong. Hence, I resorted to an alternative activity – I walked. I walked for an hour a day on the same path, listening to trance music, mulling over what I should have for dinner, and thinking about new stream of incomes. I felt good. I thought, “This is a nice workout.” It was, but it gave me a false sense of fitness.

I ate expensive instant apples for breakfast, a really nice instant sandwich for lunch, and a very cheap rice combo meal with a different viand for every day.


I wanted to cook my own food, but I just didn’t have the time for that nonsense. In a few months, the gut that I told you about increased its size like 25%. What the f$ck? I was eating apples for breakfast; that’s f&cking healthy, right? I only ate crab meat sandwiches that were f&cking low in fat. I only had a single cup of rice, every single day. What was going on? Why was I getting fatter with lesser amounts of food?

Then since few months ago, I’ve had the liberty of choosing a wider variety of foods to eat since I’ve had a more flexible schedule of work time.

Homecooked Meal

This time, I’ve experimented on different foods and am cooking more at home. I didn’t notice any significant change at first. I just thought I should embrace getting fatter, and it was something I couldn’t control.

For a long time, I have had very pointed and sharp canine teeth. I’ve wondered why that is. I figured it’s because I eat a lot of meat (sorry, vegans.) Nevertheless, as I grew up, I noticed that the “fangs” were getting more prominent features – sharper, edgier, and easier to cut through meat. I figured that perhaps genetics was doing something I hadn’t really paid any attention to. I reckoned I’m meant to eat more meat after all (Yiis!). That’s when I decided to eat large amounts of meat for my daily food intake.

A few months ago, I’ve realised I was spending more time sedentarily. I’ve been in front of my laptop the majority of the day, and I haven’t usually lead a very active lifestyle. That’s when I decided I needed to cut off some of the carbohydrates that I ate. I reckoned I didn’t need them if I was going to be sitting around all day, answering customer queries via email. Then I noticed something: I immediately looked good. F&ck Yeah!

I wasn’t even trying, and I was surprised by how much of my beer gut had disappeared. It hit me. Eating less wasn’t the solution; getting rid of carbohydrates was. Upon further research, I’ve learned about the glorious ways of the Paleo diet. I was unconsciously doing it, and I got great results not knowing exactly what I did and how I did it.

For those of you not familiar with the Paleo diet, I would like to share you this post from Nerd Fitness.

Paleo Foods

It gives a rudimentary breakdown of the Paleo diet, and why it works. But essentially the Paleo diet includes the consumption of meat, fish, animals that try to fly, vegetables, roots, and anything a caveman can find in his surroundings in his time. Everything that’s processed, f&ck that shit. Foods that are not paleo are grains, rice, bread, anything that sounds starchy, processed foods (cheese, 🙁 ) and dairy.

Coming from a genetic stand point, it does make sense (especially the part about eliminating processed foods, I mean c’mon! Don’t you ever wonder why those foods take forever to spoil? It’s because they aren’t natural things, people.) However, large multi-national food conglomerates whose products revolved mostly on grains and carbohydrate-dense foods have released very convincing counter-arguments as to why this diet is just a fad and totally not proven at all. Instead of sugar, it’s fat that’s been vilified, but I’ll talk about that some other time. You can decide for yourself, but I know firsthand that paleo works – at least for me, anyway.

Since I’ve started doing paleo, I have experienced a heightened sense of taste (especially on sweet stuff), am losing weight, have more energy throughout the day, have no adverse effects on my sleeping habits, and haven’t been sick or in the hospital. I reckon it’s a sign of an abundance of health, or I’m becoming a superhero/mutant/alien – the case, of course, is the former.

Of course, I did suffer some sugar withdrawals at first which I’ll cover in detail sometime in the future. All I could think about in the first week was Nutella and pizza. Howbeit, I can assure you that after a while, the sugar cravings do fade, and all the preceding health benefits are the result. I find non-sweet foods to be adequately sweet and sweet things to be ridiculously sweet.

I’ve been feeling great about myself, and I believe everybody should to. However, if you don’t want to give up pizzas (I mean who does anyway?), you don’t have to do it. However, the excitement I felt when my beer gut started shrinking was exhilarating (even my belts started getting loose.) All these shallow things aside, I really recommend it to everyone to be healthier. I’ve just eliminated a plethora of diseases like heart and liver failure using this diet, and I reckon this is the most important advantage of all.